I Didn’t Know I Needed A Bidet Until I Found You

Eleven years ago, I would see people carrying cell phones and all I can imagine was how unnecessary it looked like.  Why would I want people to be able to call me anytime they want?  That sounded ridiculous, to say the least.  Around Christmas of the same year, my brother gave me a cell phone as a gift.  I don’t think I’ve spent 24 hours without using a cell phone since.

Throughout life, we come across things we don’t think we need until we actually use them.  Once we do, they quickly entrench themselves as indispensable in our daily lives.

Think about the things you find difficult to live without now, such as the internet, Tivo or Facebook, all of which you probably never thought you needed at one point in time.  The bidet has been the same way for me.  When I first saw one in my hotel room during a trip to Asia, I couldn’t even make out what it does.  Now, I can’t imagine using the bathroom without washing myself with one.

Honestly, I never even thought it was necessary to wash the posterior every time we used the toilet.  Like most Americans, I was a toilet paper guy.  I wiped the soil off my rear using several sheets of toilet paper, dumped them in with the bowl and flushed about my merry way.

Once I sat on that toilet seat bidet in that hotel room, though, it was as though my whole programming of how to use the bathroom crumbled before my eyes.  Those heated seats had me hooked before I even let out a fart.  When I pressed the button to spray the water, the warm aerated gush put a smile on my face.

I never knew I needed a bidet.  Now, I can’t live without one.