Bio Bidet BB-800 Review by Stan. W
⚠ DISCONTINUED PRODUCT ⚠
This bidet has been discontinued and is no longer available. We recommend checking out current Bio Bidet models on Amazon!
Many thanks to Stan W. from the AltGN message boards for providing this review!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just returned from my first poop with the new Toilet Seat. Here is my review (please read to the tune of Outkast “So Fresh and So Clean.”
So I get home today to find a rather large box on my front porch. Turns out it’s the actual packaging with my address label stuck on it. No discrete brown packaging here. Now my UPS guy knows I got a clean butt. Yay.
The first thing I notice is that this is not just a toilet seat, it is a “Lifestyle Upgrade.” Apparently all you paper wipers are Silver members, and I’m now Gold!
So I take everything out, and it comes with seat, mounting hardware, water filter, instructions, and a little laminated direction pad with a suction cup to hang up in the bathroom for guests. LOL.
So I take off the seat off my old, caveman style toilet and put on the new one. Took 30 minutes.
So after I plug it in and let it fill up, I go poop. I had Hooters for lunch so it was pretty nasty. I finish up and hit the button. By default it’s on Medium pressure. PROTIP – turn it down low and work your way up. First shot hit paydirt in the back of my throat, so I turned it down a little bit. Once I got it set right, it was pretty comfortable, but will still take a little getting used to.
I hit the dryer and since it comes from the back of the unit. It does a decent job once you crank it up.
Next I tried the massage function and it’s pretty nice. It’s subtle, but I suspect a lawn sprinkler effect down there would be kind of painful.
Last I tried the Oscillating feature, which I think will be my mode of choice. It’s pretty gentle and goes back and forth and pretty much gets it all.
One last feature I haven’t tried yet is the Turbo Wash (which has the best icon of anything ever). It’s basically an enema. I thought it was a one button push for wash and dry if you were in a hurry. I’m REALLY glad I read the instructions first.
All in all, I feel clean and refreshed and only used a tiny bit of toilet paper to dry off with.
Overall Rating:
4.75/5
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