You Know It’s Time To Get A Bidet When…

1. You’ve run out of toilet paper for the second time this month

When are you gonna learn?  With a bidet installed, you can say goodbye to running out of toilet paper and having to clean yourself up in the shower, getting bits and pieces of your dirty excrement all over the tiles.  Toilet paper gets used up.  A bidet, on the other hand, will always be there when you need it.

2. Reaching out behind you is just a tad too hard

If you hurt your arm and can’t move it, reaching out to wipe your ass down probably isn’t an available option.  What are you going to do, ask someone else to clean your dirty bum for you?

3. Your bum’s a little too sensitive

Does toilet paper hurt to use?  It probably does if you’ve got hemorrhoids or have extra sensitive skin on your posterior.  Of course, you can always buy softer, virgin-grade toilet paper but even that may prove a little abrasive.  A bidet solves all that, washing your butt with a gentle gush of cleansing water that neither hurts nor irritates.

4. You discover that your ass stinks

Is it that hard to realize that your ass probably stinks when all you do is wipe it down every time you use the bathroom?  Why live with a stinking posterior when you can remove all that smell by washing with a bidet?