Toilet Bidets: Five Tips For Best Use

1. Follow proper installation instructions

When installing a toilet seat bidet on your own, make sure to follow instructions to the letter.  Not doing so can result in a few problems, including leaks on pipe joints (when they’re not fitted correctly) and unsanitary placement (the nozzle should be situated such that water spraying on your rear doesn’t return back to it – ewwww).

2. Start weak and let the pressure build

When you’re using a bidet, it’s best to not turn the water on at full pressure right when you start cleaning.  A sudden hard gush of water can feel like an unexpected shock, enough to throw you into a temporary state of mental agitation and, perhaps, and embarrassing scream.  Instead, it’s always best to start soft, letting the water bathe your posterior gently before turning it up to facilitate a more through dirt removal.

3. If you’re in hot weather, use the cold water

Warm water on a bidet doesn’t clean better than cold water.  For the most part, warm water is intended to make the bidet more comfortable, the same way that a warm shower allows you to bathe without chilling.  Warm water, as you may expect, uses electricity and using it indiscriminately can prove a wasteful resource consumption over the long run.

4. Learn the dance

We’ve told you about the toilet bidet dance before.  Learn it, use it and live it.

5. Use it for it’s intended purpose

The bidet is not a toy.  No matter how fascinating it may be (especially to first-time users), avoid playing with it.  Use it for cleaning your posterior and genital areas, and steer clear of most any creative ideas.  That will ensure your bidet lasts longer and stays free from damage from misuse.

Using A Bidet: Proper Movements For A Thorough Cleaning

When using a bidet, I’ve heard some people complain that the cleaning isn’t sufficient compared to wiping the area down with toilet paper.  Fact is, you can’t simply sit there, turn up the water and expect the bidet to splash you clean. To make the most out of this convenient device, you’ll have to do a little extra work on your part.

An effective way to improve how well your bidet cleans you up is to learn a dance move especially choreographed for bidet users, which we like to call “The Dirty Boogie”. Also known as “The Bidet Boogie” or “The Toilet Shuffle”, it’s a simple movement that helps ensure you to get the entire area sufficiently washed down.  To perform it, simply wiggle your bottom in a circular motion while the water jets into your crotch.   The action allows the water to hit your skin from different angles, creating for a more thorough rinse.

This easy-to-learn hip maneuver is particularly useful for those who just used the toilet to defecate.  With some traces of the excreted materials usually left on parts of your anus, water darting out of the bidet will almost always fail to take out every trace.  When you move your body in this dance-like motion, however, the water is able to remove any remnant, without needing any additional padding down with a toilet paper.